i cried.

pic taken 12.07.10 (21 weeks pregnant)

look what i found!
i wrote this blog post a little over three months ago.
you will be glad to know that now cory and i are completely happy with how things turned out for us.
but.
just in case my kids ever ask how i reacted to finding out i was pregnant.... this is how! (read below)

written sept. 5th. 2010.

my anxiety has left.
finally.
i seriously think cory thought i was going mad.
people talk about birth control making them crazy.
luckily i never had that.
birth control didn't change me at all.
but let me tell you.
finding out that all the things you did not to get pregnant didn't work,
that is scary has hell.
the first week i cried. i cried a lot.
first to my sister while holding a pee stick shaking uncontrollably on the toilet.
(the PLUS SIGN showed up within three seconds. the second test was even faster)
i called brittany first.
she is the GREATEST secret keeper on the planet.
i am the worst.
i have gotten a lot better now that i am out of high school,
but honestly don't tell me something unless you want cory to know.
no matter the secret, cory will find out.

the next person i told was cory.
i cried.
he hugged me.
i cried.
he told me everything would be fine.
i cried even harded.
he laughed that i was crying so hard.
i stopped crying (only for a second) to give him a dirty look,
then of course, started crying again.

next to know were my two right hand girls.
arizona girl: kayla
utah girl: maelyn

poor maelyn i probably called her phone 1000 times. stupid movie she was in.
but when she did answer i got exactly what i was looking for.
MAELYN ADVICE.
seriously people, she is good!

kayla was also a big help.
she is a mom already to a gorgeous boy named recker.
she, like me, got prego before her first year anniversary
so she had tons of advice.
*sigh* she is amazing.

the next person to know was my mom.
i didn't think that i was going to tell her so soon, but i couldn't help it.
she called and just wanted to talk (we talk almost everyday)
this time i think she could tell that i was a little sad.
after i barricaded myself in the cafeteria and hid under a lunch table i told her.

and guess what i did...

I CRIED. THE MOST UNCONTROLLABLE TEARS YET!

so a special thanks to you all.
sorry you had to hear the tears all the way from alaska.
but you guys were great and helped tons.