30 + SEVEN weeks

I AM FINALLY FULL TERM!

i cannot wait to meet our little

(we haven't picked how we want to spell her name yet)

i hope she knows just how excited we are to start being her parents.

we have been working extra hard lately getting ready for her to come,

lots of fun clothes and baby stuff was bought.

(cory bought everything. it was to much money to buy it in bethel. so instead we got him a plane ticket and had him go to anchorage to buy everything. HE DID GREAT!)

(( i didn't go because my feet swell like balloons if i am on them for too long))

if you saw my feet you would think i was having an allergic reaction to something, its bad.

- - -

i am pretty open about being pregnant and how it might not be my favorite thing in the world.

but you know what.

there is something that i don't like even more.

taking pictures of me pregnant.

cory thinks that we need to document what i looked like, he might be right.

he could also be wrong.

i never saw any pictures of my mom pregnant with me,

probably because she was just like me and didn't like taking them.

anywho i gave in to cory and his camera and these three picture are pretty much what you get.

1. my idea of a perfect picture...tummy only!  no chubby face needed.

2. if we have to add my face i am going to make my, "i am NOT excited to poop out this baby" face.

(but i sure am excited for after she's out!)

3. okay fine i'll smile. you get only one though.

36 WEEKS + FUN WITH FRIENDS

i love being pregnant... THAT'S A LIE!



lately, i have been swarmed with people who rave and i mean RAVE about being pregnant. i have had people tell me that they are actually jealous of me and wish they were pregnant. Oh and i might add that most of these pregnancy lovers have children under the age of one. SERIOUSLY? you just got done with these shenanigans and you already want to go back?

my pregnancy so far has been what one would call GREAT. i had very little if any morning sickness. i had never had heart burn before i was pregnant and i rarely get it now. so that's good. my baby continues to grow healthy and strong everyday and also makes the ultrasound tech laugh. (last time she stuck her tongue out at us. maybe you had to be there, but it was cute) so all in all YES i should be super happy that i have had such a wonderful EASY pregnancy.

but do you want to know the truth? i am not happy. i have come to realize that i am officially NOT one of those girls who embraces pregnancy with open arms. i am more of the girl who annoys her husband with a moan every time i pass a mirror. yes, every time. i know that my body is changing for the health and well being of my little berlin. but you know what, putting on 25 (YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT) pounds in a matter of months SUCKS!!!

and to top it off it is dead winter in alaska, which means it is cold, like negative 51 cold. the coldness actually hurts, like real pain. ouch. what does all this talk about cold mean? it means that i do not go outside other than to walk to work and home. WHICH MEANS I AM WHITE AS A GHOST!!! i am a person who looks best tan, what can i say look at my dad! we look our best tan.

SO THIS MEANS THAT I AM A FAT WHITE PERSON LIVING IN AN ICE-LAND....

 I'M A FLIPPIN SNOWMAN!

a snow man with giant BOOBS!! GIANT. and guess what, they're HEAVY as HECK!

Berlin McKinley Brian

ITS A GIRL!!!

i can't believe i haven't posted this yet

aw. isn't she cute

the house. or should i say OUR HOUSE!

yes.
we actually did it.
after months of underwriting.
many many phone calls, faxed papers, and long hours.
(all of which cory did. can i just say that my husband rocks, like seriously ROCKS)
we finally got our home.
OUR PERFECT FIRST HOME!
it is sooo cute!
now i can't wait to actually live there!
yes you heard me right. . .  we are not living in our newly bought home.
sad huh.
underwriting didn't like that for the past year we haven't had any bills (except a cell phone)
i guess they wanted proof that we could pay bills on time.
anyways, because of this we had to put 20% down on our home instead of 10%.
yikes.
there goes our savings.
so we had no choice but to stay in bethel for the next 6 months or so to rebuild what was lost spent.

BUT
even with all the blah of not being able to live there
we are still so proud to have reached our goal of purchasing a house after one year in bethel.
it was hard. but now that our baby will have a place to grow up it is totally worth it.

i still can't believe cory can get his arms around me and my big ol' pregnant belly.

this is a picture of our backyard and the awesome view from it.

my internet is being super slow, i will put more pictures up soon.

i cried.

pic taken 12.07.10 (21 weeks pregnant)

look what i found!
i wrote this blog post a little over three months ago.
you will be glad to know that now cory and i are completely happy with how things turned out for us.
but.
just in case my kids ever ask how i reacted to finding out i was pregnant.... this is how! (read below)

written sept. 5th. 2010.

my anxiety has left.
finally.
i seriously think cory thought i was going mad.
people talk about birth control making them crazy.
luckily i never had that.
birth control didn't change me at all.
but let me tell you.
finding out that all the things you did not to get pregnant didn't work,
that is scary has hell.
the first week i cried. i cried a lot.
first to my sister while holding a pee stick shaking uncontrollably on the toilet.
(the PLUS SIGN showed up within three seconds. the second test was even faster)
i called brittany first.
she is the GREATEST secret keeper on the planet.
i am the worst.
i have gotten a lot better now that i am out of high school,
but honestly don't tell me something unless you want cory to know.
no matter the secret, cory will find out.

the next person i told was cory.
i cried.
he hugged me.
i cried.
he told me everything would be fine.
i cried even harded.
he laughed that i was crying so hard.
i stopped crying (only for a second) to give him a dirty look,
then of course, started crying again.

next to know were my two right hand girls.
arizona girl: kayla
utah girl: maelyn

poor maelyn i probably called her phone 1000 times. stupid movie she was in.
but when she did answer i got exactly what i was looking for.
MAELYN ADVICE.
seriously people, she is good!

kayla was also a big help.
she is a mom already to a gorgeous boy named recker.
she, like me, got prego before her first year anniversary
so she had tons of advice.
*sigh* she is amazing.

the next person to know was my mom.
i didn't think that i was going to tell her so soon, but i couldn't help it.
she called and just wanted to talk (we talk almost everyday)
this time i think she could tell that i was a little sad.
after i barricaded myself in the cafeteria and hid under a lunch table i told her.

and guess what i did...

I CRIED. THE MOST UNCONTROLLABLE TEARS YET!

so a special thanks to you all.
sorry you had to hear the tears all the way from alaska.
but you guys were great and helped tons.

dear baby...

hello there little one.
first of all, i love you.
i feel you rolling in my tummy constantly, somedays i don't even think you sleep.
i love it.
i have been told i wont like your kicks later on (when you start kickin my ribs) but for now it's fun.
we are so excited to find out if you are a boy or girl.
one day you might read through this blog and notice that i keep saying i want a girl,
but if you are a boy.... i want you to know I WILL BE SO HAPPY!
you would be the first boy in my family.
grandpa wrigley will love having you around to help balance things out.
right now its just him and your daddy, up against mommy, grandma, and your two aunts.
oh speaking of your aunts, you are going to be insainly loved by them.
kaylee and you are going to be closer in age then any of her sisters are with her.
just so you know...
when ever i imaged kaylee's babtism i always pictured having a little one.
its crazy to think that you were that very thought.
i also would imagine my little one making a mad dash for the font, but you wont do that right?? :)
oh there are so many things that i want to you to know about your little life, but where to start?
i guess first you should know that you are coming into the two most amazing families ever.
take mommy's side for example, not only are you going to be the first grandchild for my parents.
but also the first great grandchild for both of their parents.
i think that fact alone shows you just how much you will be loved.
grandma wrigley is going to be like a second mom to you, i just know it.
she will be there every step of the way showing me the ins and outs of motherhood.
(yikes, you might have to be patient with your dad and i. we really have no idea what we are doing)
grandpa wrigley is going to be a huge part of your life too, i just know it.
let me tell you one thing about him, his laugh is addicting.
you just wait, you will always want him around to watch funny shows with... just for his laugh!
just a heads up you're coming into a family will lots a laughs.
especially when all the cousins are together, we like to tell funny stories.
most are about you mommy and her embarrassing moments.sadly, i have lots!
i was the first cousin on both sides to get married or pregnant. haha, with you!
hopefully it wont be long untill another cousin gets married and pops a little one out too.
but don't you worry that doesn't mean you wont have anyone to play with.
aunt sherrie had cousin quinn not long before i was married.
i bet you two will be close (especially if you're a boy)
a boy. just thinking about that made me smile.
i also want you to know just what amazing great grandparents you have.
absolutely amazing.
they are so steadfast in the church and such examples to me.
they are who i look up to for my future family,
because with the families they have, they must have done something right!
i am excited to have you grow up knowing them,.
i remember my great grandparents and feels blessed to have memories with them.
not everyone grows up knowing their great grandparents so don't ever take that for granit.
ooo and let me tell you about daddys family.
well first off its a gorgeous family, with so much love.
grandma brian could be the next martha stewart (one day you will know what/who i am talking about)
and grandpa brian is probably going to be the one to take you on your first motorcycle ride.
(when your old enough of course)
you daddy's sisters are so excited to meet you.
i can't wait for you to meet them.
i mean seriously the cutest girls ever!
oh and otis of course... you daddy's gentleman caller (his dog)
i just got all gitty inside thinking about snapping pictures of you playing with otis.
there is just so much to be thankfull for with you in my tummy.
i want to you know that you have been super easy on mommy.
you didn't make me sick at all, just very very tired.
but mommy loves to sleep anyways, so that wasn't so bad.
so thank you for that.
you should also know that there is a good chance you will be born in alaska.
it really is gorgeous and hopfully things will be warm enough for you by april.
well i better try to sleep its almost 2 in the morning.
i will write you again soon.
i kinda like writing you notes.
p.s. i love you. WE LOVE YOU!

shmear.

certain days it seems i only want to eat certain things.
today.
bagels with strawberry cream cheese.
i've had two already.

baby kicks....cory



i think every blog post deserves a picture.
even if it has absolutely nothing to do with the post.
think of it as our way of documenting bethel.
* * *
this boat cor found just laying on the side of the road.
we have been here a year and haven't noticed it till this week.
its crazy the things you find in this little town.

 anyways, story.
so its like five in the morning and cory and i are up talking
(somehow we both woke up at the same time)
after we get some water and lay back down i tell him that i haven't felt the baby kick all day.
you must know that i feel the baby all the time, so to not feel it was weird.
cory tells me not to worry and that he would get him to kick for me.
he then starts knocking on my tummy like you would at someone front door
and REALLY loud says, "hey you baby. WAKE UP."
after probably blowing out my babies newly formed ear drums
he puts his head on my tummy and listens.
i don't know if he expected the baby to talk back or what.
but the next thing i know the baby does the BIGGEST HARDEST KICK YET.
right on cory's face.
i laughed so hard.
i could just see this pissed off zygote telling his dad to BACK THE HECK OFF!

what to name our bump?

so lately we've been thinking hard about baby names.
i mean seriously this little bump needs a name.
i'm tired of calling it "zy." (which is short for zygote, of course.)
and i am super tired of hearing cory call it fetus.
no no zygote and fetus just wont cut it anymore.
baby bump needs a name.
anyways.
we still don't know if it is a boy or girl yet.
(i am secretly hoping for a girl)
(cory says he doesn't care, but i know he wants a boy)
if we DO infact have a girl the name picking will be easy...
we know we will name her BERLIN.
but have no idea for a middle name.
so right now its just BERLIN SOMETHING-SOMETHING BRIAN
what would be a good middle name?

and if its a boy.
ummm... we're screwed.
the best we have come up with is

HARRISON RICHARD (hehe, just for the nick name) ((this was sue's idea!))
or
CONAN OH BRIAN

no no we are just kidding we wouldn't put our child through such misery.
but it is fun to think about...
i mean we all know someone out there really named their son harrison richard aka harry dick.

it's sad that those two names are the only ones we have come up with.
clever as they are, i will not have my sons nick name be harry dick.

green submarine is my escape.

400 followers!

seriously. wow. so flippin cool.

i can't explain enough how GS has helped me get through bethel.

when you live in a small town for a YEAR where your only close friend is your husband....

 you need an out.

and GS was my out.

i remember when i first started that blog

and thought it would be awesome if i could get 10 followers.

seriously. thank you to all my friend who spread the word.

it makes my day!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -

to all those who haven't been to GS, go.

 it's a fun site to find diy projects, nothing more.

click below to check it out:

ps. sorry for being kinda a blogging bum lately.

we are SUPER busy picking out our first home!

woot woot.

in the next 6 months, i could have a new baby, a new house, and finally live in a new state!

(sorry az friends. the home we want is in orem, utah)

(( but now i can come visit you, only a 10 hour drive away ))

p.s.s baby is now this big!

Your Baby: Week 16

Watch what you say...

tiny bones forming in baby's ears mean the little one can now pick up your voice.

Eyebrows, lashes and hair are starting to fill in, and taste buds are forming.

And, if you're interested, an ultrasound might be able to determine gender.

*click for source*

snow in sept.

moment of silence please... as we say goodbye to summer.
oooo and while were at it, lets just skip fall and jump right into winter!
grr. 

alaska, i no longer like you.

on a brighter note:
the baby is as big as a plum.

hello baby.

say hello to baby!
today was a great day.
we got woken up to evacuate our home, because they thought the school was on fire.
 - it wasn't.
when we went to the hospital they said that my appointment didn't exist.
 - lots of waiting.
i couldn't pee all morning because they wanted me to have a full blatter for the ultrasound.
- i swear it wouldn't have made a difference.
watched cory's face turn pale as the ultrasound tech put gel on my tummy.
- we were scared we would see two babies.
i watched the screen as one baby jiggled and danced around.
- one half little jumping bean. one half alien.
got a print of our babies first picture.
- as seen above. so flippin cute.
went to my doctor to have a follow up.
- they said i didn't have an appointment either. figures.
the doctor let cory use the little tool to find the babies heartbeat.
- i thought it was a cute way to involve the husband.
went to subway for breakfast.
- yum. the only fast food in bethel.
brought my ultrasound picture EVERYWHERE, and showed it off to EVERYONE!
- if you were in bethel i would have shown you too.
spent the day at work staring and my little zygote.
- aw. this feels so real now. i am officially excited!

11 WEEKS KNOCKED-UP!

its true.
we are expecting in april.
april 19th to be exact.
-  -  -
i know we are supposed to wait till week 12 to tell.
but i'm sick of not being able to blog about it.
so week eleven sounds close enough to me.
-  -  -
anyways, back to being pregnant.
freak me out. seriously.
this is not part of the plan.
but hey.
i've been with cory for almost four years.
why not mix things up a bit?
everyone is excited.
at first i was terrified. and sad.
now it's starting to sink in more and i might even be excited too.
luckily. it seems everyone and their mom is having babies right now.
or had one in the past year.
so our little zygote (that is what we call it) will have babies to play with.
also my this little lime in my tummy will be like a little brother or sister to kaylee.
crazy to think me and kaylee are 17 years apart and my kid will only be 6 years apart from her.
i will have more of an update on tuesday, that is our first ultrasound.
pray its not twins!
...seriously, PRAY
oh and for the record:
this is all cory's fault.