my dilemma.

just in case you forgot (but i don't know how you would) i live in bethel.

a rural Eskimo town in alaska.

a great place. lots and lots of amazing people and good friends.

but there is a problem with our little frozen wonderland... the hospital.

don't get me wrong.

the hospital is a great facility with amazing nurses and doctors that really know their stuff.

but they are missing one key employee  - an anesthesiologist.

which means

NO EPIDURALS!!!

none whatsoever.

yikes!

everyone here has their baby natural, it's the only way they've ever know.

me being a utah girl where the hospitals are baby delivering factories,

it's hard to think that an epidural wont be an option.

 - - -

well it isn't an option in bethel.

 - - -

here is where the dilemma comes into play.

i COULD fly to anchorage and have her at providence hospital, which would give me the epidural option.

i know what most of you are saying, 'well just do that, sounds easy enough'

if only you were right.

there is just one thing that is keeping me from planning on an anchorage delivery.

PAID MATERNITY LEAVE.

if i can work to my one year mark then i will qualify for a three month paid maternity leave.

but if i have my baby before the one year mark, then no money for me.

lets take a look together at how close these two dates actually are....

now do you understand?
if i want to plan on an anchorage delivery they want me to go in at least one week before me due date.
well that isn't an option if i want my maternity leave.
ugh.
so the best option we have come up with is to take the chance that Berlin wont come early.
we really have nothing to go on except that my mom didn't come early. so that's good.
anyways.
this is our predicament.
i really don't want to have a natural delivery.... REALLY REALLY DON'T!
but i REALLY REALLY want to be paid to play with Berlin.
double ugh.

what would you do?

take the chance that she wont come early and try to hit my one year mark?
- then fly anchorage the second i qualify for my maternity leave.

or

forget taking chances and go to anchorage early, that way have a guaranteed epidural???

i love being pregnant... THAT'S A LIE!



lately, i have been swarmed with people who rave and i mean RAVE about being pregnant. i have had people tell me that they are actually jealous of me and wish they were pregnant. Oh and i might add that most of these pregnancy lovers have children under the age of one. SERIOUSLY? you just got done with these shenanigans and you already want to go back?

my pregnancy so far has been what one would call GREAT. i had very little if any morning sickness. i had never had heart burn before i was pregnant and i rarely get it now. so that's good. my baby continues to grow healthy and strong everyday and also makes the ultrasound tech laugh. (last time she stuck her tongue out at us. maybe you had to be there, but it was cute) so all in all YES i should be super happy that i have had such a wonderful EASY pregnancy.

but do you want to know the truth? i am not happy. i have come to realize that i am officially NOT one of those girls who embraces pregnancy with open arms. i am more of the girl who annoys her husband with a moan every time i pass a mirror. yes, every time. i know that my body is changing for the health and well being of my little berlin. but you know what, putting on 25 (YES YOU HEARD ME RIGHT) pounds in a matter of months SUCKS!!!

and to top it off it is dead winter in alaska, which means it is cold, like negative 51 cold. the coldness actually hurts, like real pain. ouch. what does all this talk about cold mean? it means that i do not go outside other than to walk to work and home. WHICH MEANS I AM WHITE AS A GHOST!!! i am a person who looks best tan, what can i say look at my dad! we look our best tan.

SO THIS MEANS THAT I AM A FAT WHITE PERSON LIVING IN AN ICE-LAND....

 I'M A FLIPPIN SNOWMAN!

a snow man with giant BOOBS!! GIANT. and guess what, they're HEAVY as HECK!